Month: June 2014


Obama’s Tragedy

Obama’s Tragedy One day, President Obama visited an elementary school. All the kids were so excited to get to meet the President. He began to talk to them and asked them to define the word ”tragedy.” “Well,” one girl replied, “If my mommy ran over my dog, Rover, that would be a tragedy!” The President smiled […]

Clocks in Heaven

Clocks in Heaven A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?” St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the […]

Hug Certificate

Hug Certificate LET’S SEE WHO READS THEIR EMAIL A Hug Certificate for You! This poem is very sweet. It will be interesting to see who sends it back. Forward this on and back. I’m counting on you not to let me be the number one type person on the list below, but if you’ve got […]

How To Handle The Protesters

” How To Handle The Protesters “ With the current war raging in Iraq, many of us will encounter “Peace Activists” who will try and convince us that we must refrain from riding the world of Saddam and the people that he supports… Many of them terrorists. Do you remember September 11, 2001? These activists […]

The Egg

The Egg   If you think life is bad….. How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes four minutes to get hard. Only two minutes to get soft. You share your box with 6 other guys But worst of all.. the only chick […]

Technology for Country Folk

Technology for Country Folk     LOG ON: Making a wood stove hot LOG OFF: Too much wood on fire MONITOR: Keep’n an eye on the wood stove DOWN LOAD: Gitten the farwood off’n the truck MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much […]

Fruit Cake Extrordinaire

Fruit Cake Extrordinaire 1 cup water 1 cup sugar 4 large eggs 2 cups dried fruit 1 teaspoon salt 1 cup brown sugar lemon juice A flock of nuts 1 bottle whiskey (Sample the whiskey to check for quality) __________________________________________________ Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again, to be sure it is of the […]

Chicken Dance

  Chicken Dance   Come On!! Stand Up, Stretch them Legs, Turn up that Volume! I know you’ve been sittin at the ‘puter FOREVER!…. Flap them Wings and Dance!!! Probably the only Exercise you’ll get Today! HeHeHeHe!    Now Playing: Chicken Dance    

You caught the cooties!

Warning! You caught the cooties! Scroll down to find out more. Hello, I am sending you some cooties…. I know that you are thinking… “Gross !! I don’t want any cooties..” But oh well, I gave them to you now…hehehe!!! You got cooties…you got cooties….you got tons of cooties!!!     Don’t be ashamed everybody gets […]

Let’s say I break into your house:

Let’s say I break into your house:   A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!!! It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.  Her point: Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration. […]