Month: June 2015


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Cat Scan

  Cat Scan A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.” […]

The Trouble Tree

The Trouble Tree The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start. While I drove him home, he sat in […]

You Shouldn’t Skip Church

You Shouldn’t Skip Church A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some bear hunting. As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he and a bear collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the mountainside. Before he knew it, his rifle […]

Bats in your Belfry

Bats in your Belfry Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One of them said, “You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with them flying bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to scare them off. Another pastor said “Yes, me too. […]

Pastors’ Wives

Pastors’ Wives Two Pastors wives were visiting and sewing their husbands pants. One wife said: My husband is just beside himself, he does not know what to do anymore and he is so tired and depressed he said he is ready to just give up and resign. The other wife said: I am sorry to […]

The Golden Phone

The Golden Phone It seems a man in Topeka, Kansas decides to write a book about churches around the country. He starts by flying to San Francisco and working east from there. He goes to a very large church and begins taking pictures, etc. He spots a golden telephone on a wall and is intrigued […]

Revival

Revival   After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another. The Methodist minister said, “The revival worked out great for us! We gained four new families.” The Baptist preacher said, “We did better than that! We gained six new families.” The Presbyterian pastor said, “Well, we did even […]

Letters to the Pastor

Letters to the Pastor Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won’t be there. Stephen. Age 8, Chicago Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville. Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson […]

Time For Church

Time For Church One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, “I’m not going.” “Why not?” she asked. “I’ll give you two good reasons,” he said. “One, they don’t like me, and two, I don’t like them.” […]

True story off the Newfoundland coast

True story off the Newfoundland coast This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a Collision. Canadians: […]


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