{"id":132,"date":"2026-03-09T22:33:19","date_gmt":"2026-03-10T05:33:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/?p=132"},"modified":"2026-03-09T22:33:48","modified_gmt":"2026-03-10T05:33:48","slug":"two-women-at-the-pearly-gates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/two-women-at-the-pearly-gates\/","title":{"rendered":"Two Women at the Pearly Gates"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-127 size-full aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2025\/01\/tek_humor_etc_files.jpg\" alt=\"tek humor etc files\" width=\"452\" height=\"33\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2025\/01\/tek_humor_etc_files.jpg 452w, https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2025\/01\/tek_humor_etc_files-300x22.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 452px) 100vw, 452px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died.<\/p>\n<p>1st woman: I froze to death.<\/p>\n<p>2nd woman: How horrible!<\/p>\n<p>1st woman: It wasn\u2019t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?<\/p>\n<p>2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.<\/p>\n<p>1st woman: So what happened?<\/p>\n<p>2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died!<\/p>\n<p>1st woman: Too bad you didn\u2019t look in the freezer. We\u2019d both still be alive.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; &nbsp; Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died. 1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible! 1st woman: It wasn\u2019t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-religious-humor-pg-13"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=132"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":134,"href":"https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132\/revisions\/134"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tekinnovations.net\/elfkingdom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}